1.    Be aware of online scams.  Remember that there are bad people all over the world just looking for trusting individuals to trick into handing over their money and even children to them for their personal and financial agendas.  If you encounter anyone who asks you for money or favors, either online or in person you should immediately remove yourself and your child from the situation and cut all ties with them from then on.  Don’t let yourself or your child become victims of people who would take advantage of or hurt you.  You might even consider using free e-mail accounts, especially in the beginning that you can easily cancel if the experience becomes uncomfortable.

2.    Never give out your personal information (i.e. credit card, address, schools, e-mail addresses, Facebook names, phone number, etc.) to anyone you don’t know or completely trust and even then we would encourage you not to.  Hackers can access our information these days without giving them our information so imagine if you do give it to them.  Plus, you don’t want strangers stalking you or showing up at your house.

3.    Communicate only through PlayDateSearch.com until you feel 100% comfortable exchanging e-mail addresses or phone numbers.  Don’t let anyone pressure you into providing any information that you’re not completely ready to divulge.  You should request a recent photo of the parents or caregivers and even the children so that you know who you are meeting with.

4.    Drive yourself with your children to and from the first few play dates until you are fully comfortable with the other parents or caregivers and never agree to ride in someone else’s car in the early stages of a meet up.  If the parents or caregivers turn out to cause you to be uncomfortable or threatening, you are not dependent on them to drive you and your children anywhere, especially if the play date ends early, or if something happens to the other caregivers.

5.    Trust your instincts.  We all have a basic gut feeling inside of us that tries to warn us when we are around people who are threatening to us, either physically or emotionally.  Sometimes though, we simply ignore those warning signs that our gut tries to tell us because of we sometimes blindly believe people or trust too much, or we feel too confident of our own abilities to recognize threats to ourselves.  But when caring for our children, we must get in touch with the instinct that protects us and keeps us aware of threatening people that may want to prey upon us and our children.

6.    Avoid and be weary of people who behave or speak inappropriately when around you or your children, or ask inappropriate questions.  Listen and observe how people talk around you, your children and theirs and also be aware of how the other caregiver’s children act and talk around your children.  Children are so impressionable and if they are left with others who talk inappropriately and you don’t express your better judgment toward your child or theirs, children will conclude that the inappropriate language is okay to repeat.  People are pretty de-sensitized to inappropriate language these days, but caregivers who speak inappropriately around children should be discouraged to do so, or you should remove your children from their presence.

7.    Arrange to meet in high-trafficked, public places, especially during the first few play dates to provide a greater amount safety for you and your children and always tell a friend or relativethe date, time, location and any other details you have regarding the playdate before you meet up.  Also be aware of your surroundings at wherever location that you meet at for anything or anyone who might prey upon you or your children.

8.    Always keep a close eye on your children and any children you might be watching and never leave them unattended for any reason, even for a quick moment.  You are responsible for anyone in your care and never allow some children to go off alone while others stay.  A good rule is if you’re watching children then if one goes, they all go.  Also let the other caregiver know if you may feel at all uncomfortable of being in charge of their childfor any reason.

9.    If you suspect or witness the other parents or caregivers of illegal activities or inappropriate behavior, remove them from your profile list and seek help from authorities if you feel threatened in any way.  You can always search the online criminal background check websites and predator databases in your areas or areas you plan to have the play date in if you feel uncomfortable and wish to have peace of mind, but sometimes it’s just better to be safe than sorry when it comes to our children, so trust your judgment when it comes to the safety.

10.  Make sure that at least one parent or caregiver is knowledgeable in rescue training, CPR and water safety during play dates and if you don’t already know how to perform lifesaving rescue techniques, then it would be a good idea to learn these skills as it could save a life anytime whether at a play date or not.

11.  Never drink alcohol, do drugs or take heavy prescription medications before or during play dates, especially if you are going to be driving children around. Also, never text or use a handheld phone during driving to and from play dates.  The texts can wait and you don’t want to jeopardize yourself, the public and your children or someone else’s either.

12.  Establish any medical conditions, sensitivities, energy level issues, dietary limitations, and allergies that each child may have so that the children can be protected and play dates can be planned out safely ahead of time.  Many children have dietary allergies that require special foods to be eaten, or certain foods products to not be present at all and if there are any specific allergies or breathing issues like asthma involved, it’s critical that these be known and that there be emergency remedies such as Epipens or rescue inhalers present at all times.  Also have a first aid kit handy for all play dates.

13.  Discuss any relevant rules, guidelines, requests, standards, values or activities that the other caregiver might feel is important to do or not to do during the play date.  You should be aware of each other’s boundaries so as not to create any conflicts that could result in unfortunate incidents or negative feelings between caregivers or children.

14.  Take pictures of the play date to document the fun for your kids so that they can look at the photos of their friends when they are not around and don’t forget to share them with the other parent or caregiver if they desire.  Once photos have been taken during a play date though, never post them to social media websites unless you have permission from the other parent and never post photos with identifiable information like the name of schools on shirts or addresses and be aware that if you post photos online, many times there are embedded meta-identifiers attached to the photos that will give out exactly where and when the photos were taken, even down to the address on a map.  Also be careful of accidently taking potentially, or what might be determined as inappropriate photos of the children while at play and stay aware of other parents or caregivers taking too many, or inappropriate photos of your children.  Be aware of your surroundings as well, watching out for strangers that are trying to take photos of the children in your care, or that are attempting to get close to the children.

15.  Be aware of your children be bullied by anyone, or of your child possibly bullying anyone else.  Sometimes we are too busy or distracted to notice the social dynamics of our children when they are interacting with other children.  So it’s important to watch the details of your children while playing so that we can provide them with the safest environment we can, whether physically or emotionally and bullying can effectively compromise both.

16.  Discuss any specific likes and dislikes of your children with the other parent or caregivers so that the play dates will be personalized to the needs of the children and not just the conveniences of the parents.  It’s important to always consider the interests of the children ahead of time before the play date so that activities can be provided to help keep them entertained and creatively challenged.

17.  If your children and the other children are playing with computers, camera phones or on Internet devices, always monitor the activity and websites that they are doing and visiting so they don’t end up on inappropriate websites or are exposed to, or even snapping graphic and explicit content.  The last thing you need is a phone call from an irate parent or police accusing you of exposing their child to graphic, explicit or sexual images or even in some cases, the police and Federal authorities charging you with downloading explicit sexual material from or to a minor.

18.  Discuss any special abilities or challenges that your child or the other caregiver’s child may have so that the play can be mutually enjoyable, or not unfairly challenging for some and if any child has any disabilities, consider these carefully and provide a secure environment, while not creating any unwanted sympathies for the children at the same time.  Establish and evaluate each child’s strengths and challenges unique to them and their specific requests for treatment or allowances so that the play date can be as fun and productive as possible and not frustrating to any one child.  If any child needs special equipment in order to function optimally, make sure that you or the other caregiver knows how to operate the equipment properly.

19.  Find out any specific hobbies or activities that each child enjoys doing such as biking, swimming, sports, arts and crafts, computer gaming, etc. but if the activities are physical in nature, be careful to not let the children overdo the exertion, especially on hot days and encourage the children to play outside at times if all they want to do is computer games.

20.  Agree on types of activities, toys and equipment that will be used during the play date so that fairness and sharing will be promoted.  And if there are any toys and equipment that a child does not want the other children to play with, then it’s a good idea to place those out of sight to begin with so that power struggles and fights are not initiated during the play date.  Encourage sharing and positive interactions so that the play date will be fun and therapeutic for all involved.

21.  Make sure that the children have appropriate clothing for cooler and warmer temperatures and be aware of weather forecasts so that the play date does not suddenly become a panicked incident of finding safe shelter or the right clothing. If the play date is in the country, make sure that all children stick together and that proper education is provided to the children and parents of dangers such as wild animals, flash flooding, insects and poisonous plants that may be present.  Have jumper cables in your car also, just in case your battery dies while out on the play date.

22.  When using virtual meetings, be aware to monitor the activities while children are online and always use an I.D. or password feature so no unwanted intruders find their way into your playdates. Also make sure to let others in your household know that you and your child will be holding a virtual playdate in the designated area at the times you’ve planned, so no unexpected family members walk through your camera’s field of vision in various states of undress, or shocking attire. And finally, be mindful of the clothing worn, whether virtually or in person. Messages printed on, or styles of clothing may be appropriate to you, but offensive to others.

23.  Have tons of fun!  Make it all about the children and don’t be afraid to be a kid yourself.  It’s so much more fun and rewarding for kids when a parent participates with the children as they play.  It’s okay to let the kids play while you get a little break catching up on parent stuff, but just try not to be the parent who always sits in the lounger, talking with the other parents while their child plays.  Get involved with their play date and they will be happier that you did.